"Hope is not about proving anything. It's about choosing to believe this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us."
Anne Lamott

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Crazy Train Life.

I love this song. I wish the intro could play everytime I enter a room. THAT would be AWESOME!!

Peaple have called me crazy before. I'm on the impulsive side. I go off. I'm on the dramatic side...or "passionate" or "expressive" as I prefer to call myself. Which is FINE, if it' all in fun.

But lately...my life is crazy all on it's own.
Do you know what happens THEN?
I am forced to be a sane person.
I am forced to be a responsible adult....finally, at age 40.

So today I paid my daily visit to my husband at the rehab facility/ nursing home. (YESTERDAY, we actually had a nice visit.) TODAY, it wasn't so good. His blood sugars were running high. He was irritable. He says he's escaping on Friday and has a ride. (I don't know who the ride is. He won't tell me.) I told him that if he came home, he'd be brought back.

He said "By WHO? YOU can't get me iin the car."
I said no.
"A COP? YOU can't have a COP bring me here!"
I said, "Yes I can".
And then the swearing started.
I said if this was the way the visit was going to go, I'd have to leave. 
"Then GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" He screamed at me like a crazy person.
"Have a nice night" I said.  I set the grapes  that I brought for him on his tray table. (He constantly complains about the food there so I try to bring him a treat when I visit) I started to walk out of his room hearing behind me repeated screams of "FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUUUUUUCK YOU!"
I crossed paths with a charge nurse as I was leaving and he gave me a "Probably for the best that you leave" look.

He has since left me two messages on my voice mail that he is coming home, he has a ride and there is nothing I can do about it so "FUCK YOU" and another that he's not going to eat anymore food there.

My life is CRAZY right now.
And I am forced to be the sane one.
Being crazy is WAY more fun.


  1. Everyone's life can get a little crazy now and again.. but yes.. you've seem to had more than your share of "crazy" lately. Hopefully things will level off soon and you will be able to enjoy not having to be so "sane" all the time.